Quarantine series

Dear diary , Today as if  i found myself at  base of  world under the floor , just  now what i felt can' t be describe as sometimes  emotions works the Best . Yes i am taking everything so unserious is now what i found today feels so depressing i failed to qualify my exam in which i was too much assure i even  drumped  it everywhere ,never ever thought of it . Being straightforward i believe its no ones fault nowdays i m just freaking out so much even forgetting all my priority just dreaming all around . (wake up kindly to myself) please i just wasted 3000₹ on these exams and stupidity and not even qualify. Because most important part is i am just depended on my destiny N luck so stupidity . not giving 100% most important is i dont want to study more  just hate of it . i am done with everything i am so much disappointed to myself rightnow as i want to jump from top of the building  earlier i was juslike just try in this in that  atleast try but today i am so pissed of by me only The pressure, outside, environment, Family issue, Take back things, Moreover be on Top ,be prouder is taking me so low . My wishes are just same except the interest iknow this kinda attitude confused,annoyed,depression aren't good. Hard works matters most of the time  feels  like to go out of this matter enjoy wanted to escape from everything its very bad to be  in a place you hate the most . Can anyone hear me . Tuffstuff Moneymatters, No friends nofamily all people want is sucess= people noone loves the loser Be 1 ,be topper,be best and you'll be loved by the most. 2017 tuff start ,cant handle this anymore ,therapy needed, low feeling  everycomfortbut😩.  God i m done with all bullshit now please you know me a good start to do and a New phase of it i am having bad time wanted to free from people just me and me with silence and coolhills . today's thought - dont dream until you work hard to live it . All i can say is failure is not dead point its new start . Mylifemy thoughts. A break !