SteadySecretdiary

 Hello Diwali 2021, It's just 1 month in this Year ,I need to go to achieve the love for my Life as I need to have a Peaceful space  A Big Home of 300 Sq feet A Big Car A ethnic outfit for my Brother Gold For Mom Dad Phone for Mom Dad Mom Chappals  Daddys watch  Dadi gifts ,Chachu Gift ,Nani Gift  HAVE A HOME IN MOUNTAIN HAVE A LIFE  LIFE  Living the Best Peace Inner and Satisfaction To prepare for myself as Coaching or Monologue and Life of silence and Happiness  Next Diwali hopefully  be happy with everything  Thank you thank you Thank You for my family health and happiness of All Always help others for Food and Clothes and Gift if needed

 Today 12Oct2021 Not went out not join School wasted 30k Opportunity  Kittu have 3 lakhs  Me just 1 lakh in 2 years so so bad  Not went to mumbai or Out It's just too waste No money,timewaste no Result  Not getting a Thing working Harder Each day is what really Matters Life is unpredictable need Good Counsellor, FAREWELL,HELPER,LAST MEMORY OF CLG,GIDT OF STUDENT AND MONEY NEED TO HAVE IT  MONEY NEEDED ANYH0W ITS REQUIRED MUMBAI,PROJECT,CDS,ACTING OR  KUST THEN PHD ANYHOW ELSE WILL ME NO RESPECT,NO MONEY NO RESPECT EARNED NEED TO LEAVE YHE PLACE HATE IT WHEN I NEED TO GO OUT WASTED 10 LAKHS NI TETURN NOT GOING OUT NO MEHNET NO B.ED NOW ATLEAST NIW CAN AND NEED TI GO ANYHOW POSSIBLE MISS HONE TIME PLACE HAPPINESS AND LOVE BUT NEED MONEY AS WELL

 Hello Diary, I wanted to start a new venture As I am now 24 a lot of things comes to my mind like having alot of things like  to have a  5 lakh  bank account to have of Money , A Car by my own, A House by my own To Have a NGO,Hotel,Restaurant,School  on my Own Get back my Kasganj Home land and patyali home land  and things jewelery of 1 Crore any how  A WFH Job  A Job of my Dreams is like What I want in Life I have wated 12 lakhs on my studies and 50000 on just my self cant even believe I need to do more From now I feel only Government ,Abroad  or Best places Job No kind of Any I tell you I have worked i prep school ,College nad Medical College But nothing Can ever help the Way it is required anywhere also i anted to work in the Field of having a growth of Live in My life it is like anyhow but no teaching bY now i tell you this is like the Last Noone I need now or require i acn do what I want todo in life nothing can  make me annying in...

Dear diary,  I dont know Why I am here as not to have a regret in Life I am here I want to create a persona of my self but then end up studying in a No sense school then a local private college then again a private clg for B.ed  alot of struggle and A state University level University Masters required here as well as Dreams of pune IIM and other just everything got so bad I gave my resume everything in My City and Juggled alot but nothing happened end up teaching in a Provate college  2 years I dont know why in a painful salary My dream was dream ,this same city,meeting local poor people is annoying  me alot but what to  now I have need to go out as soon as possible as Wanted to work in Research labs but   very Monotonous no Interest also Army loved it but no interest ,in the same way teaching  from so many years not working towards my Goal and Major goal and my only dream yr need to do any how yr so much Important. This going and Sending CV here ...

 Dear Diary, Today is 9 june 2021 how time passes Away I am 23 with 53.5 Kg Weight and gonna be 24 in just 14 days As I have thought many things and many plan not for the Birthday  but for life to have a BusinessCompany  A lot on money 1 lakh Bank balance Travel Countries Have a House a car  This is what I love to do as I am very keen and happy to be working I love to do This really very much Not what I like to do this separates my Part  I need a Solid Work in this year to get a path in this field I have to Is really very very required to do Rightnow  =If Going Clg Then ::: Clothes need,Scootee Petrolneed,Time waste Less Money,Money,garmi garmi. =But Can watch Movies,prep Myself and Have alot things Must Go but nothing is Happening need to do things in this year only like  Go by 14 have 4 days can do much better and yes more to do.. Need TO GO OUT OF CITY MUMBAI,HYDERABAD,BUSINEESS,NUTRITIONIST JOB,ABROAD PHD OR PREP FOR ACTING  TO EARN 40K PER MI...

 Dear Diary, As I say I always wanted to be a part of Rich well todo family but my parent gave everything they can as I was the one stupid But my dreams were quite different and change like a teenager every now and then but then I found bad and different behavior but could not be able to do anything. As things changed I wanted to be a good boarding school have a home and a Car was my biggest few crazy things todo... then so no no I decided as I feel so now  BEING A BOARDING SCHOOL LEARNING CLASSICAL DANCE,INSTRUMENT AND BASEKET BALL HOCKEY  WAS MAIN DREAM HOLIDAYING WITH MY FAMILY IN HILLS AND ABROAD HAVE A CAR AND BIG HOUSE WITH MY WHOLE FAMILY BEING GOOD AT ACADEMICS AND CURRICULUM LIKEBLE BY TEACHER AND BE IN EVERY COMPETITION WAS MY BEST PART NEVER EVER THOUGHT WHAT TO DO ADOCTOR ,MISS INDIA,DESIGNER THEN BE WHAT I LIKE GO WITH FLOW WAY STARTED WORKING LOVE BEING NAUTANKI ,DANCING,WRITING MY FEELINGS,TRAVELING,EATING DIFFERENT FOOD,MEETING NEW PEEPS ,CULTURE PLACES EX...

 As A day again got a chance to be a part of in between 56 into44 and then 44 into 4a big for ne but now happy excited  nervous and also  fingers crossed for future wanted to make it this year this year is going to with at how at any cost.

 Dear diary, Today is 52 day of Lockdown 2, I am getting annoyed as I talk about my Failure in This time is like I have not overcome till yet like::: 1-WAKING UP EARLY AT 5 AM 2-GOING FOR RUNNING PROPER WORKOUT,YOGA,EXERCISE 3-ALOT OF TIME WASTE IN ABOUT 35 DAYS 4-NO PASSION WORK AND NO WORKFRIM HOME NOW JUST WANT TO WORK AND BE ON THIS RIGHT TRACK  A.PAINTING,SERIES WATCH,RAMAYAN,HAVE WORK,WORKING ON PASSION AND  NOW TO HAVE A HOME,TRAVELINGABROAD,MONEYINBANK,AND HRLP MY FAMILY AND OTHERS 6 years wasted And Actually I am now 24 what to do yr  God it's high I will work hard alot.

 Hello Diary, This is me again   here as I am very mc disspointed because I love being alone on 1 floor the thing that really bothers me is my that the garmi, lizards and misarrangement all in one its a beautiful place but as I say I love my ME TIME, ALONE,MUSIC LISTENING ,VIDEO MAKING,DANCING VIDEOS,AUDITION VIDEOS,VIDEO CALLING,TEACHING STUDENTS, NO NOISE MY PLACE MY BATHROOM, I CAN  WEAR WHAT I WANT ,I CAN HAVE MY FOOD,LATE NIGHT MOVIES,WEBSERIES,EATING,WALKING . ALOT TO WATCH LIKE THE DAY RENT HOLDER LEFT I AM LOVING IT. FROM  20APRIL2020 TO NOW 24 APRIL AROUND 1 MONTH VERY STRANGE BUT TRUE THAT I AM SHOOK BY THE FACT THAT  FROM 16 APRIL TO 24 APRIL ITS BEEN  39 DAY I HAVE DONE NOTHING... NO WFH, NO OUTSIDE, NO ACTING WORK, NOTHING LIKE ABROAD, NO BUSINESS BUT FEW THINGS WHICH ARE QUITE APPRECIATING NEED TO START VAMPIRE DIARIES,SUNO CHANDA, FRIENDS, IF PEOPLE WILL COME ,OUR INDEPENDENCE,FREEDOM,WILL GET CONCISE  TO A VERY LITTLE ONE.

 Today is 22 May very different  day no to say but very very similar in many ways as I am totally very very same in these Lockdown  days as Covid is still ruling our life like anything and it's really very very disappointing  to see what is it now because as it says the most I totally  petrified by the life and what is happening  these days because it's really very very annoying to know that  this is really very very unfair that Life is treating me this way and this is really so Bad and annoying  . Dont even know what I am doing and what to do iys always like figuring  out situation  that What should  I do if this has happened it's really very very   abnormal  experience  I never thought how would I express it like before or now but it is different very very different  from earlier if I may say so what to do yr . My life is totally bad these days a phd,cds abroad life ,money acting learn these situations...

 Hey diary, Its 12 May 2021 can believe Officialy I am turning 24 this year like what I had a dream since 16 to become a Miss india that literally shattered because of height and all and now yr   Last year I came to know I am just 5'1 which is so so low and what else one can expect to be in this state 

 Today  is 1 May 2021, Never thought  we would have a time to Ctually think about things that are happening  and very weird as well I am so not sure about the life somehow 1 may is so bad what else ti say in that case The Life is really messed up dads health, my career and this pandemic is taking life as a storm . It's really weird and unhapenning that whosoever is in need is literally getting it but now If I say so it's really really so disturbing  yeah literally  is because . 2 year of being indoor not be  able to fulfill your dream is quite a difficult one it's really sad that I had this time now again after the whole year.

 Today is 29 April 2021, Dealing with unknown virus please be careful it's really hard when you lose your young ones it's really is As I was complaining I am getting just 15 I as 35k is getting by my college mate and kitti in a project I am astonished now it's really very said to hear about I hate it whatever comes in this case like I have proble. With saree,time waste now what nothing if you know you know it's really hard when I think about my past and future because my past Wasted 3 years in just nonsense also not HAVE MONEY,5YEARLOSS,TIMELESS,NEED MORE THINGS LIKE PROPER LIKE NUTRITIONIST, CDS,NOR DOCTOR OR BUSINESS WHAT TO DO MY ACTING CAREER IS NOT ACING WORKING HARD AND I WILL EACH DAY  MY PHONE DATA,CHIP,SUIT,EARRING,WALLETBLUE,LAPPIPICS AND PJONE PICS ARE JUST JUST GONE WHAT ELSE ONE CAN EXPECT YR NO MONEY  ALL RINA GONE YR 14 DAYS WASTED IN VIRAL NO MORE YR ITS HIGH YIME WIRK ON JOBS,WFH,40K ,PROJECT,MUMBAI,HYDERABAD AND MONEY ACTING THATS ALL Need it work on i...

 Hey Diary dear, This is Insane to tell you  that I am really very grateful and will always for my family as I love my family  it's really hard these days to get a control on things happening like the way it is today I am so much irritated that  how can I go for Mumbai and start my job actually this year I have to start my new life journey which is really Important  it is really very very important  for me now to understand and to know what is happ6 around like the way I wanted to be a cds,a job ,phd, mumbai actor or just vanished coz needs home,car and money to travel world it's high time now yr god I will from Tom any how after class I will and will be going for it My life really needed  this to happen this is required to be done properly  it is really required to change my job now I amok to do Work from home,workout ,learn act ,cds coaching  and jobs searching du course or Mumbai thus year any how otherwise its 23 yr please need to need to...

 Hello There, This Time has arisen again and again I can seen people and situations are getting worse Everyday Its really really a Big thing to say but due to certain cases that has arisen I feel like my career is getting dark each day I am really very very Scared Again because  I feel like From 2020 this year is also going to be very hazardous I am  really annoyed by the Fact that How can I be able to have a Fame and How can I be able to work in a way  that I will work in a direction I cannot be able to see this is like Insane I annoyed depressed and very frustrated by the Fact that What to do now it's really very very disheartening for me. Today15April I am so unhappy by the fact that What is going to be a scenerio that I will follow i if think there's silver lining I am feeling I am totally lost it Could not be able to have anything this is really a disaster I am shook by the fact that what to do if things gets  like this but,,, I will not give up will send c...

 Hello Dear diary, This is another smashing day in the time where I believe  I am totally alone I just dont know What Is all this Happening as The life is giving me alot these days and I am shook by the fact that this is Insane happening with me also that I hate hate The place I am today you cannot juggle between two things it's insane and very Impossible  kinda of situation I literally want to leave this city and ho out and have fun but this is literally Impossible  and What to do now The place I am in today is the Worst place I can ever have also this is the Time I want to Go out to do a 50K job or may be doing a job like  acting Because I love ACTING AND WANT TO LEARN IT AS WELL A J9B MAY BE IN ANY SCHOOL ,COLLEGE UNIVERSITY  IN MUMBAI OR MAY BE DOING SOMETHING  THAT I REALLY LOVE TO. It's really like I am stuck here for no reason I hated this job it is giving me nuts The life is so exorcist till date it is really  a fun fact that I want to be ...

 So I with my sister  finally went to pursue my career into acting went to give my first ever audition in Delhi I was petrified,nervous,very excited to be actually going what I always wanted to I am so happy and thankful to god and my family as I was very unhappy at that point of time but then found some courage to be actually doing it . I WENT to LUCKNOW for audition on 4 April2021 and was thinking to somehow do my best I got a script after my intro for dono a village character UK play in 2 minutes I gave it all mine with my loving sister I went there and with 2 takes after the brief I was totally give it I believe was raw and quite unaware of camera. Need workshop,  Camera facing  Experience to learn script but gifi it 80 percent not bad as was totally wanting to I gave my 100 % but was very wonderful  nothing sort of fishy or anything was very happy after that but I will work hard for my next also I want to do it anyhow not going now in Mumbai but do it this ...

 Hey diary, This is to Inform you that I have been there and then because I feel like From 2019 I am here,NoAds ,no Videos ,noprint shootsand not at all anything Else.I know I am not Tall my nose is not good have moles on face but Will try my all level Best and Tty hard anyway with confidence  I know I am quite educated but use it and make it good in all situation and see happiness everywhere This is where I feel like from being Bachleors to Masters now B.ed being a Teacher was my job till then as I feel like it's really very bad. Oh then its April now I have been teaching since and in job since 1 year 8 months and no saving at all very bad salary and it's really so bad I feel like what to do and then I have now so much time,no pressure of Exams and no other work till yet and it's not even I am taking any advantage of that it's very bad I am stuck with it It feels really Bad The life really gets annoyed. But now being 22 and 6 months with LESS SALARY it's over need ...

 Hey diary, Its 2021 now a day after the Holi celebration which was a good option I have no idea what all i can do its 30 March2021 almost I am 23 years not a confused one but Today is not any other day I have no Idea what todo now its almost feeling like doing a suicide my life sucks literally as I always sometimes very grateful but I feel like just what can  I do to feel myself its literally not happening I am literally stuck as after 2017 in Masters I feel like something is going to happen now anything now anything but no its 2021 after like literally 4 years I am in a struggle period cannot feel myself as now being a professor in a medical a college  its 1 year and 9 months being out of sight and at home just did in the last  2019 what I really love the most but now its not at all this year cannot feel good in this year but also its very very annoying to go for for a job that I hate the most  I DONT LIKE TO TEACH,BE IN 8 HOURS PLAE I HATE THE MOST NOT EARNIN...

 Making pride my nani nani,pics,gifts,trips and happiness Love my old home and happiness  To be a celebrity to treat to doctor to my dadi,nami,solve all law disputes,polices problems,money and land disputes. Happiness is the having money of 50k ,kitchen queen diy queen, Coming after 10 years to home is a Another kind of experience  and really nostalgic, Need and must do something  to be on a higher position.  It is required. Kecthup,jam,earplugs,enough,hajmola,biscuit,chips,earring,linernapkinwipes ,soap,towel,folding knife,cash,creditcard,rubberband

 hey there, This is Ayushi Sharma and you are here just to know about my secret diary so yeah I never thought I would start teaching but then I started doing for no reason as by Mascot and then B.Sc student and then Now Lifetime like a MBBS student I am so not sure what is gonna happen but this is really something  that we can go on and on  with to you know trigger my fear . Well 1 March was that day I was totally terrified  and scared and nervous to what's gonna happen then so Then I saw that  the things are really very scaring now because I never ever choose or in my life  taught or even interacted with  a MBBS student a private college ones as I am always fond of because it was very terrible . I was having some anxiety issues and all My life is now literally changed from this as I am totally  Up to this game  of not a person who fears from public  the life is so hectic and I am so so nervous so as soon I enter the auditorium  my ...

 Dear diary, Its 1 Feb of 2021 what else one can expect that 1 month is gone by Air here and now what to do ? I came back to bareilly on 5 july 2019 and now its 1 year 6month and just I do not have a handsome amount to prepare for as My not so good B.ed and my 50 K salary saving in these times is just now completed with me what else one can expect my very dear sister who loves me alot said I HOPE I GET TO SEE MY LIGHT THIS YEAR LIKE MY ACTUAL CALLING FOR WHAT I AM EXACTLY DOING  FOR LIFE FOR PASSION FOR LOVE AND FOR LIVING THIS IS WHAT I EXPECT FROM MYSELF THIS THIS TEAR AFTER THIS 1 MONTH OF  OTA PREP AND EXAM ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE A A AUDITION IN LUCKNOW TO HO AND WORKSHOPS TO ATREND AND WORK BLOODY HARD TO GET MY DREAM COMES TRUEI WILL NOT WASTETHIS YEARFOR 40K JOB OR A MONEY TO GET THIS YEAR JUST TOTAL  PURE DEDICATION TO STOP MYNIGHTMARE AND LIVE MY ACTUAL DREAMS AND MAKE THEM TRUE TO GOD HELP AND SUPPORT WILL MAKE IT ANY HOW THIS YEAR AND GO  FOR IT

 Dear diary, Hey hello As I walk to the new year 2021 I have been watching people who are my age and people know them how to do that I dont know that what do I do ? Being in lockdown  for like 8 months it's really a Big one not even kidding I need to do . I was home from last 2 years and what to do is a really a big task I have been learning yes Contained around 55K but need more Lakh in my Bank balance what to do ?what to do ? It's really a task to not be at home now,to work,outside earn more around 40k or live,travel and make a career and go to your calling as soon as possible.  The Lockdown  period was Fab I had seen Ramayan  to Mahabharat  to epics and learnt alot but somehow diverted to OTA due to respect,proud,dignity officers and The money As my family need a support  money and a person in the Family. It's really a task How to managed yourself  to the utmost level . My life was Amazing learnt spent alot and lived alot but need to make it al...

 Dear diary, Today was a worst day As I can believe in my classes are more miss my Microbiology  days. My classes are more ,The exam for which I have been preparing for from November  to January now 1 months quite a mehnet a going nowhere because my aim is getting degraded as my Ota is not prepared,Missed my bestfriends  birthday  party ,my classes are increased a lot of pressure  is given as well. My Practise and more of the time that must be given to ota is not going the way it is.

 Hey diary, I might be always very kinda of confused person but as I am today its just the phase of being 22 or exact as 23 which is taking me in this diverted path as because Now being a masters and a professional  Teacher with a lot of Hard work to put in whether as I was working last year as on 10K to just in the case having food,fun and friend all was love of 8 months to be precise now 2 and half months old in this College having Vaishali Many B but a focused set and totally free I am to be doing anything here as I was meant to do because as I entered I have a exam and a 2 month focus Nov dec and even jan to finish it but need to do it any how till 20 any how God help I need to crack of else my only calling to lucknow,Audition,Delhi Mumbai prepare for Acting and makes me prepare my thing. As if now The familybpressure to be settle,have a secure  50K government job then to a settle prrdon and then to prepare or fir a professor  or a job any this sort  orelse ...

 Dear diary, It's really Important  to be healthy and as well as working towards the  goal because the the health is the origin to physical and mental state being happy and healthy is really important  to ones life . Be it doing your favorite  work,cooking something,doing business,meeting new people and having a good time is very Important   for new people to hang on. It's really very very hard last time but 2021 can be a good one as one can think about it very easily.The way a person  work and  behave is the only way to be treated Life is really hard to be in one place,one city sticking to  few people's only.  To explore to love and to push you comfort boundaries  with the 2021 achievements  is only thing to be done need to need to need to it's very Important  because its is really very very important.  To have a business or entrepreneur or might  a startup is all you need to do . Establishing yourself in t...

 Dear diary,  You know na the monotonous  like is not the way I want it to happen excepting The fact that Ihave to  less money,work hard and big dreams now what to do??? It is the biggest question  in the world  we need to find it's really a bad bad idea because life is not a bed of roses we need to work work work not stop to get it any how   Also because being from  change the scenario from middle, to get things back ,power,happy family,proud parents and big money is my only wish to achieve. Sometime life makes a void which is so deep that made a huge impact on the simple life and to make it worth while. From 2020 lockdown my life changed in more than many ways like emotional,intellectually,physically  anx mostly I know my priority myself my best things to bs followed.  I know now I need a  vacay very badly . Because money is only way to cure expenses and a brand. Aldo life must be authentic is so true. 

 Dear diary, I might be a week late to wish you a new year may be happy or not dont know but for sure it's gonna be better than ever as we evolve and grow things grow as well. Like the way people say time and time wait for none my life is so busy we are striving each and every day to just achieve our goal running and ridding its really a role coaster ride I must say  last year resolution  just went away like money eating,going out ,abroad,vacay,a great job but nothing sort of workout for 2021 I will give my everything  to be havd a lakh bank balance, a car, a property and a settle  job and vacay will try to achieve  as much as possible  for me its  really  really sad to hear when you dreams die the going to Mumbai  and Hyderabad is already  in adue state. It's really need to work any how darling any how ? My distraction  to get ready for my dream to come true like OTA is boys and Acting field which I really die for how to do an...