The Indigenous Life

 Dear diary,

I have been very busy with the lifestyle and its prons and cons this life is taking thing as storm sharing the most important part that Icant believe I could have shared with anyone other than you.

So my equation  with my mom is always very like sweet and spicy from childhood she used to scold me every now and then with now like everything .

My love and world was she only .as the time changes my schooling was affected very often and I have affection and love for someone in my life a year of love was broken just to proof my parents that I am not worthless.I seeped,cried,shouted and got angry we used to have an arguement  at that time and I know she hate me but I don't know why I always have a very very soft corner forget in life.

Things changed I proved sedinot went to  receive  my trophy as I won And became the topper of my stream in my little downs and ups she was there I feel to feed me ,to scold me,to buy me things only As there was a point she was more than my friend,best friend, boyfriend  or any more attached  to me she cried I cared about her alot I mean I came to home from hostel just for a day to make sure she is fasting for karwachauth when daddy and sister was not there.I know I never get applauded but I was criticized  way more than anything I life was and is tough .It was beautiful and busy 2 years of my Masters as I always wanted to do MBA and went on pursuing MSc  as the fees was 5k only as my sister would not get affected  by her studies but I was the villain in that scenario my sister is always her apples eye and I am the dirt of eye 

This behaviour wanton changing As from the guest and fav I became the useless and baddest girl on earth .I am not understanding  what she wants in2019 just because I woke up late and could not help her in diwali she rejected me I was not dressed  all cry whole day and not even festival feels like it it was the hell ,things started to be the worst I lost my bag 2 dec just because of her rude and bitter between us and her anniversary  daddy not responded it's just so mess and baddest behavior  ever.I KNOW I AM THE WORST 

But 2020 when family came closer got to spend time with each other than things were ridiculous  I was trying  to please her and she hated me disowned and said many things that really bitters my taste till now my birthday  to holiday to festival feel so unworthy as once sad by my father dont come back home you value will be reversed and it is way more more more 

Bad then anyday I can think I am vamp,I lost my job in gurgaon  my outside life is zero.

I AM NEGATIVE TO FAMILY AND SIBILING

I am poisonous a unworthy just go and die,should have married but no one wants you,you are kalani not a girl no one wants you as a girl the worst anyone can ask for .

She hates me till the time I married I need to escape and go out and make a career  and then show face to her with big money in my account  my problem  is just not solved without it The life is worst I need to live and enjoy with positive  but to my mother  and my family I will show them and I am and can be the best and worth it any boy you can ask for the way I am ignored and betrayed  and felt annoying and disgusted  is the challenge to my self esteem I will show them 

This is the worst to any people life than anything to wanting something doing other thing and loving something and not getting what her heart beats for.😖😟🙂