29july2022

 Dear diary 

I have never thought that this day would come again in my life as every thing was happy happy good going and I was very happy with the life angle of attraction and manifestation every thing was good I read the book the secret I read about the magic I read the book the power and I like three of them and they were like the best books I’ve ever read but then I always wanted to discover about myself that should I want to do this should I able to do that and that one thing that really shattered me up was when I was came to know that I literally came to know that that I am not being a part of the PhD program in Mumbai University but I am just fine I am fine I am feeling I am I’ve been putting myself up that I am I am there have seen the YY that I am there all I need to do is just click on those of the audition and just I am sad I understand but know the struggle is real just to be there just to approach the place this is a first time that I am trying to be there and it is really important for me right now to how to cope up with all these things because  somehow it is really becoming very different for me because how to do it how not to do it I am very stressful from last one week from Friday to this today is also Friday I feel like that how I am going to do this the all these things but now I am somehow Panduk myself just collected all the pieces that were broken inside me and stronger strength and try to be more balanced discipline and working towards it and towards the best way I can because I do not have any another way I don’t want to do anything else rather than now so business politician that I can all only be able to do with my app  I really want to act I want to win and career in acting and I love love love love love acting can’t believe anything else above below than that I will work my asshole asshole asshole thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you universe reminding me what I am thankful for each and every day life example I have got a lot of projections like 30 rejections that I have already picked Ma  and I can see that that all these were just because of me I was not prepared I was not preparing I was making it very easy light and I was I have taken things for granted but that should not be always the case because we should always prepared for the worst and prepare for the best but ready for the worst I miss that is really hot and  what else I can say that thank you thank you thank you for plants Park thank you thank you thank you for this job I am here in government University every thing family for the support of the food I don’t know why I am these days keep criticising having a bad impact criticising feeling bad to you what I like always watching short video reels and investing a lot of time not even studying not been attached to friends and not doing anything good to myself wasting my time and I know myself that I’m 25 time is already gone five years ago  I am clock is ticking I need to work work work work work anyhow any way possible but just gone every thing is gone but now I have to do do do do do anyway anyhow possible to be the best hobby top on the best you know I know I want to act I want to have money luxury all the things that comes with it but that’s it  different side of the coin I really wanted to make and in this world I know that’s big that seemed dreams but I want to do ice if I didn’t this year then it will be always a regret for the life till the day I take my last breath and I always wanted to do it since I was 16 year old and maybe below than that and this has always been in my mind so this year going to Mumbai sitting on a flight going to hotel is check check check totally checked I really wanted to do it anyhow possible so you are no more looking back no more nothing bad or just  trusting the universe thank you thank you thank universe I know you are guiding I know you are helping me you are showing me for giving me a slap on my face that yes you have taken me granted but I will not I I cherish each and every thing from having a gold ring to eerie clothes to family to table to pen to laptop to phone to AirPods car Scooty all these jobs money and whatever the time I had thank you thank you thank you for all of these things thank you  very very grateful thankful grateful thankful and blessed from the core of my heart even side and feeling very very very thank you thank you so much