22Feb2024

 Dear diary it’s 21 of February I don’t know how to deal with these things I don’t know how to deal with people I have no idea I am getting very vulnerable and very weak these days I’m very over emotional over thinker and very very depressed I don’t know why this things are showing off on my body but I don’t know what I am what I am going through from 20:20 to 9 2024 it’s been four year I don’t know what kind of depression I am dealing with I’m very low Sometimes I feel like that the person I thought will come back in my life and never come back he just moved on when they had this career and life and then all my friends got married and now they do not have the similar thinking like me my parents don’t agree with me I don’t know I am wrong people are wrong I don’t know why I do have so many ambitions still teen years of age and I had so many ambitions in my life I do not want to disappoint my 16 year old Ayushi because I want to talk to many things in my life I never thought I would do it but I have to do it I don’t know how I am going to do it I made so many good people in my life and bad people in my life right now I just need a lot of growth with the money a lot of growth in my career just move out of the city move out of the pate time in I want to pursue my passion my creativity my ideas and that I love the most I just don’t want to be here I just go out my parents are not support my friends are not support and most of my cousins are supportive my my sister my mother my people the family the work everything is so exhausting so negative I can’t live without I want to travel the world I want to see people I want to go to temple have to go to P places but with this environment I am not able to do anything I’m so annoyed with myself I don’t know how to keep up with that always crying with pain I don’t know where this stage will come that when we come down in notes feeling that much there is no motivation inside me feeling so much of different you have suicidal thoughts with me going to work I am I am weeping I am crying every day I am crying I don’t know I am crying I’m so weak emotional somebody says just something and I am so hard only my Chachu understands me now he’s also very far away from me being close to me still nobody new relative no one just everyone is taking advantage take my time effort everything I just want the results and success I don’t know what is happening with me I’m just so much confuse so much annoyed just give me the power to get through all of this I know this day this shall to pass and I will catch up with all the good things and flying colours in my life I know I am going to succeed in life and career and all that at the last I will chase thank you universe thank you thank you thank you and me because I don’t find anything else motivating right now

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