12August2022RakshabandhanDay

 Dear Diary,

Hello dear diary today is Raksha Bandhan day and it doesn’t feel like the one it’s a very very very very very good day today I am loving the vibe every thing is good and I work what I always wanted to be I think this is the first time I guess From last year that I didn’t buy anything I didn’t buy anything everything is just kept with me and I just wore my mom‘s Kurtha and the jewellery that I already had I am just Titan not of Rakhi nothing nothing fancy because none of her cousin came this time .

Was all the time that that or I used to go to other other cousins house to tie the knot with this time that really broke off and every thing is not just according to what we have always thought of I don’t know what is happening I don’t know what is this I don’t know what life is taking us I don’t know the year was amazing everything is going great that we are going out I am going to Mumbai I celebrate my birthday but I don’t know with the money and being older Without even being an arrogant or a bad person I didn’t just disrespect anyone any cousin or any big boy I don’t know what the why there is a grudges misunderstanding arrogancy and these arguments in every thing that is happening between the family between difference between ourselves only I am with myself only I am I am every day fighting with myself Mom everyone out and this time I am not even able to match my thinking in my sister I don’t know what is happening when it’s a 25 or one hour I am always be amazing I want the hell is happening I don’t know what is all about this I’m not I don’t even know I do not have any good sleep these days everything is just messed up I don’t know what what what is this I don’t feel like going to Kashmir or celebrating my birthday yeah maybe going anywhere else.

I don’t know it doesn’t even feels like that I want to go to a vacation with friends on a beach or going on a mountain with my family sister anyone else I don’t know doesn’t feel like it is not hitting me I don’t know what I want I have an iPhone I have a house I have a car I have a job Yes I am having money I am having each and every thing that I always wanted I don’t know what is hitting me what the hell is happening with my brain these days dad it’s just me anything is not fine no what what is the site I don’t even understand I’m trying to help everyone I’m trying to be nice to everyone I want to be good to everyone I want to do things for everyone but it’s not going to be I always thought of it’s always a misunderstanding I keep on doing things I try to be nice to everyone but it’s not happening I am really shocked I am really shattered right now whatever is happening I don’t know what is this what is happening but keeping all of these things aside the family the friends and whatever is happening and I need to really focus on myself if I am not focusing on myself getting two lakh rupees or going out I living in Mumbai my dream job that is to be actress getting rejected they’re having bad day there because I am working because I am doing because I am doing what I really love so it doesn’t feel like anymore that I am trying or I am pushing I am doing efforts because that is really I always wanted to do and I will invest in that my whole life I don’t know why I love this thing I know after the money and power and every thing comes I know a lot of ego a lot of enemies I create but I will try to be the same ground it good family oriented girl and helps everyone get everyone thinks that I always do it’s just I don’t know the time is not right or whatever the thing is that I try to be focus on myself going Mumbai have two lakh rupees house car and all the businesses 56 that I always wanted and print of married to a K met but PJ and getting back my bag and Mythri land house and every thing .

Because the family doesn’t feel the family anymore the warmth and the love is now gone I don’t know what kind of a misunderstanding is there but it doesn’t feel the same anymore not at all and I am I am also not well my stomach is not good and my brain also I am having cold so every thing just mixed up maybe all of these things and making me annoyed but the fact is that I am really really really really very focusing on my career And just going there in Mumbai and get my two lakh rupees and everything is just working on myself just working on myself the power money and every things comes with that only I’m just moving out exploring travelling and my belief in God going to temples and every every good thing is doing for everyone that really makes me happy thank you so much thank you thank you thank universe for this Dhakka for this always a disappointment that thank you thank you thank you laugh attraction thank you thank you thank you love manifestation that is always pushing me to do hard and to work hard that I am nothing I have to do a lot of things nothing matters then be yourself and doing something because nobody else is going to feed you for the life no one else and I’m really not aiming to get because I am in saying that I don’t know what is happening but maybe things get better I’m just hoping thank you thank you thank universe what is the car that I got thank you thank you so much