ATherapy

 Dear diary how are you tomorrow I am going to meet the therapist

I don’t know how but now I feel like that I am going to meet the therapist and it is really required I really wanted to go to meet the therapist since really long time I’m really grateful thank God bless that I have shown my teeth I have shown my I am going to show my moles and I am I will be the best version of myself I don’t know what what but that place really is it in my head now I don’t know I I know that there are there is like three years of teaching I have an experience of but I really can’t deal with this right now I am so fucked up I don’t know what the hell is going on with me I will try to change myself be busy with a lot of things that can help me in self L and growth and development is 2020 I have read all the four parts of the secret Kar Gopaldas book I have read life is what you make it Preeti Shenoy I have read it guy I have read audiobooks I have a Jayshetty  I have read atomic habits I have read psychology book I have read moral stories book I have read some audiobooks I don’t know what else is required even I have read Ramayana I have seen Ramayana Mahabharat I have seen I have seen a half way Vishnu Puran a lot of old movies here and there being with the plans been with the boards somehow 23 days for running get up in the morning do exercise workout water you know do yoga and do what really I like food and every thing I even do help with myself I started eating food good food healthy food and I read somehow give a cheat meal like pastry or something of fast food I go to Mandir also on every Monday starting with Prasad and every thing I started doing grateful thankful blessed of attraction of manifestation practice I don’t know sometimes I am overthinking overpowering all these thoughts and books on me or I don’t know what is happening with my brain I even see documentaries read about it and even went to travel also to 3 places and went to a lot of temples and you know met people and have their lives went to all alone for few months and then be with the friends and every thing I don’t know what was happening what was bothering me neither I like being socialising nor now I am like being alone I don’t know what the hell is midway I want in my life sometimes I just need alone and sometimes in the a lot of people I want to be just being lonely alone and then when I’m lonely alone I feel like somebody somebody somebody I don’t know what is my state of mind and then I started watching Ask lafte Alnamaz some of the series and movies like that Bing crashed on a lot of women and being friends with S and then start writing also scripting journalling blog writing then started my YouTube channel also it was also a starting point in the dance videos monologue videos and also some of the study videos was very very helpful and a different point all to the another way then I’m really thankful grateful place for the job number two that I have as really gotten the opportunity to really conduct some of the beautiful met some of the beautiful children’s and they are so poor and so kind and every thing was really good I’m doing like really really good I’m so happy I have the clothes I have every thing because that I wanted because I have the money I’m not doing anything bad is just all positive happy honesty good and right mental space what else I wanted whatever I’m wanting is getting really true I’m really really happy and grateful for that I don’t know what the introspection I have written after 2020 that I started dancing taking videos and cooking also,  I started playing games I also become very craftily associated with drawing and painting is also in 2020 and even in 2021 dancing drawing cooking and learning new books and now I just wanted to learn swimming Kathak horse riding and learning new language that was also in my bucket list I really wanted to do it that I have tried a lot of things or I’m just backed up because I have 3° and a lot of workshop in three years of experience by now I am really really overwhelmed so so happy and really truly feel grateful that I have this all of these things I have money I am I am really employed with two of the great institutions I’m really happy I’m doing great I have money each and every thing that I want I can buy and it was not all people of my age I having this kind of opportunity I have an iPhone 12 I don’t think everyone of my age is having maybe more and less but I am really grateful for each and everything for the AirPods for the ring for the easy for the earrings for the chain for the car for the Scooty for the house fucker for that matter for the Scooty laptop bag each and every thing I’m really really appreciate that I’m so grateful for each and every thing how are you think that I have a really happy that I am able to do that thank you so much thank you so much I have done a lot of things tried using my mind and I wanted my mind by myself a lot of times and I have done that also try doing it is that going here in there and is that maybe I am wrong in this she is wrong the wrong going that is that I don’t know but now I really really really need to just consoled and each and everything tell about a career counsellor or therapist so that my bright mind and brain get really relaxed because no one in the longest time I am able to say from longest time was 10 schools from school only I am not able to speak to anyone and say each and every thing and give my heart out because no friends was wasn’t mine I have told each and every thing about myself they didn’t know each and everything so I really need to just tell them forgot sake 

It’s really very unhappy to know that you are doing a job that you really don’t like every day it’s not like that okay like that stop going every day everywhere people of your age hardly what they really love and there really like and you are just thinking about what to do and will I don’t need money right now money is not the priority right now I know I am two lakh rupees in my bank account but My aim😊 is not it I don’t need money right now money is not the priority right now I know I have two lakh rupees in my bank account but money is not the priority right now my ages is important because I am 25 a wasted my five years being here I want to be an actress that is what is important my dreams my aspiration literally plays a very very important role whatever I do I am really really thankful that I will be doing all these things and I really want to do and go Mumbai I love my life that I always wanted to don’t want to pressurise myself into the job that is really not likeable and things are going like I don’t know how and when what is going to happen I know in many other ways I think that has change my mindset is the secret scene four of the book I have read the secret the magic the power I am the hero put all of these 4 are the best All of these four were the best test and I loved the secret book and they’ve really change my life I am in out of the literally feeling like working out watching travel XP and sunset make up doing cooking most of the time and literally move a lot of things making tick-tock a lot of movies poems skincare old TV series reading session and is a Instagram that really help me in posting myself from March to the July 2021 and planting giving water to plants painting a lot of time art and putting a lot of times pictures of clouds have taken a lot of pictures of cloud and also I somehow need a lot of counselling now a therapy now but I really know that we and all of this sum of the art culture craft books workout Pilates skipping is going to really help me an emerald forward to thank you so much and I will work thank you thank you love